Scary. So the book says that you should change your attitude from a negative centric view to a positive centric view. OK then. It points out that people are happy when they're expecting something good (doubt it? how happy are you waiting for a mail-order package or in line for Star Wars part duex?) and suggests you convince yourself something good is always going to happen every day. Say "something good is going to happen today" when you first get up and think of that all day. What was scary was this morning the first thing I thought of (after "kill the alarm clock") was that something good was going to happen today. Brainwashing at it's finest! So I'm still positive that something good will happen.

This Dilbert is pretty accurate, maybe it's the good thing?

Or maybe the good thing is that I added 10 lbs to my rep weight on the flat bench? Normally I'm way down on power by Friday but today wasn't that bad. Or maybe it's the fact that Diane has started working on a friend of hers to join us for a threesome? That could be the good thing. The calamari stir fry at lunch is not it, that much I'm sure of.

I picked up an oil filter kit at the BMW dealer yesterday for $11 and will go buy $12 worth of oil at lunch today. $22 for an oil change isn't so bad, sure beats the hell out of the dealer cost.

Still waiting for my good thing to happen. I went and got the oil for the bike and got a Yamaha sticker for the Montero (goes with the racetrack stickers already in the back window), is that it? Maybe it's this...

Oh, and reading Dennis' journal reminded me that today I also called the laser people and signed up to get lasered. I go in on the 12th for all the preliminary crap then after I get back they'll do the zapping. I know it will work, I went in for a consultation back in CO and they could do it. No reason they can't do it 5 years later. I talked to Chris and it started to freak me out. The procedure just sounds scary as hell, and we all know I have issues with doctors, dentists, etc. Hyverlaser is where all of the ultra-rich ($200M+) nVidia engineers, sales and VP types are going. It's not that much more expensive than the discount places but there must be something to it since they're all picking that one. I doubt they're shopping for the discount place, I imagine they're using the best doctor available.

Ah ha! Found the good thing. I'm sorta out of cash to pay off my Cancun trip and poof, my state refund magically appears. Problem solved. That's a good thing.

This book is scaring me. It actually sounds like it's on the level and you could do what it says. I'm going to try it and see. The first stumbling block to overcome is chapter 1. :) They want you to think up what you would like your life to be like. No limits or anything, just what would you be doing, where would you live, who would you be with, etc in the perfect case. Sounds easy, but it's pretty hard for me for some reason. The only thing I can come up with is that I want to ride my Suzuki to work. And it should be warm a lot too.

I'm finding out where Chris got his eyes laser-ed. I'm pretty sure I'm going to do it now. It's just fear I have to get over...

So I'm doing a Kelly5 thing with Krista now, I don't want to talk to Krista for a while. Not sure how long, but the constant phone calls/emails are starting to bug me. Not that they're annoying or hostile or anything, rather they're just a reminder that she's around but not with me. That's hard to take day in and day out. It's probably better this way, sorta leave me go in peace.

Then, on another non-related note I've started talking to Diane again. She's still up for sex if I want it. Again, just like last time it's tempting because it's easy and mindless and no strings attached, but is that really want I need? Probably just a little yes. Long term it would be bad to keep doing that but for the short term I'll probably go for it.

At the moment though I can't tell if I'm sick and need to puke, or am just emotionally upset.

I got a book in the mail called Maximum Achievement - Strategies and Skills That Will Unlock Your Hidden Powers to Succeed from amazon. It was a gift from Krista (ironic as hell, isn't it?) and it might be the same book that she's reading to try to improve her life. I should really give it a try, what have I got to loose? Not much, that's for sure.

My right ear still hurts and I've not worn ear plugs in several days. I've been screaming in pain after ever ride due to what I thought was the ear plugs causing me pain (that or my neck being stretched in the weird riding position on the R1). Apparently it's not either because I'm hurting here just sitting in my chair in the living room.

I'm talking to another chicklet from the personals. Here is a picture of her, just because Vareck is going to ask. Her name is Jeannie and she's a graphics designer who now lives in South SF. She used to live in Fremont... I actually talked to her about 6 months ago after the breakup with K5.

I bailed on the BMW service today, I just couldn't deal with it. I hate spending good money to have some monkey change the oil when I could do it just as well as they can if I just put my mind to it. It's not one of the 'required' changes (that comes at 6000 miles) so it won't void my warranty or anything if I do it myself. I figure the oil filter is like $10-15.... hmm... maybe they have them at the local cycle shop and I don't have to use BMW parts? Not trying to be cheap, just not wanting to have to go to the dealer since it's a ways off. I don't know why I'm so afraid of this bike, doing the EX was a piece of cake. Maybe I'm just being lazy.

I did my workout at home today to make up for missing yesterday. Weights and then a run around the neighborhood for some cardio. Normally my shins are killing me after a run but not so today. Maybe I really did outgrow the shin splints? Or maybe this fancy running shoes really do make a difference.

Oh, and I figured out another of the things that dad does (probably not on purpose) that causes me to feel really bad. He's always asking me about past relationships, "have you talked to K2/K5/krista/Camille/what's her name?". It makes it impossible to ever move past someone because he's always brining it back up. I think he doesn't like me being single, but it's really pissing me off. And he always seems to think that anytime I talk to any woman anywhere that I'm trying to score. I never should have mentioned that I met the neighbor chick, he keeps asking me about her too like we're going to start going out or some crap. It's really, really annoying. I should say something.

Hey, cool, some of the thumbnails are in from the photographer last Thursday. Not to bad for a dirt bike! I'll have to see what else he's got and pick one to get as a 11x17" print

Talking to Krista right now. It's kinda interesting, I'm really not to worried if she keeps talking or not. She's just sorta being annoying, going on about how she thinks she's lost 0.5 lbs today, how much she's drinking, how many types of beer she has, blah blah blah. Mostly I just don't care anymore. Could I be getting over her? That would be really convenient. Now she's going to go to take a shower. How happy. I'm going to go cook some food and watch more of the Star Trek marathon.

While I'm at it, let me just revoke her access to the journal. No reason for her to see into my life anymore. Man, that feels good. She can just take her drunk stupid ass and keep it all to herself and her new collection of men.

Oh, and she's ready to give me comments on what she's read in the 200 pages of my life. She's a little worried that I can't take an honest opinion. We'll see, bring it on bitch.

Back from the cabin. Grandma officially turns 79 today. That's getting old.

While up there I had dad take some pictures of me on the bike up at the property. I wanted to get a picture of me at the track and then another in the dirt showing the versatility of the bike. Should make a cool collage. Unfortunately, dad's not real good with the digital so I was either too far away or already past when he took them, even in full-auto mode. Here is the best of what he took.

The pump and small water tank went in last week so they're really close to having water now. All the need is a power source so dad got one of the old decommissioned portable arc/stick welders from work. It doesn't weld so good anymore, but it does provide 110 and 220 power just fine so they can test run the pump before the power lines get run. Notice the fancy little cart he made to mount the welder on (normally they're mounted in the bed of a pickup).

I'm off to go do something I'm not really sure I want to do. That usually effects performance. Let's see if I can pull it off (or fake it enough to survive.)

Task complete. Well, multiple tasks complete. First I did what I wasn't in the mood for, I went on a date like thing. It seemed to go well, I heard myself being funny and intelligent and she was laughing and smiling and seemed to be having fun. No idea how it really went, I guess that will be determined by a 2nd date.

I also got the BMW washed. I forgot to lube the chain though, I should go do that before I forget. Tomorrow I've got to take it in for service. I was going to put new tires on after the track day but it doesn't seem to need them, there is lots of tread left. I'll get some next season.

Another night out shooting pool and drinking. This time I tried to go slower as Kenny suggested (and I tried rum and coke instead of screwdrivers) and it didn't seem to change anything. I didn't get all giddy and happy (unlike Rod's wife who was getting out of it) although this time my pool game didn't go to hell, I started making shots and being more casual about the whole thing.

After pool we sat around checking out people and eventually Rod's wife (who's name I keep forgetting, Penelope maybe?) got me to dance (while he guarded the table). That was actually sorta fun. There were two cute chicks hanging out at the table across from us (maybe 5' away) that were alone. I almost went over and talked to them, but didn't quite feel up to it. Although masturbating before we go out helps my pool game (makes it easier to concentrate when I'm not so excitable when a cute woman walks by) I think it takes away that killer instinct. Penelope says that it's the alcohol making me less inhibited but I had actually stopped drinking about an hour before (faking it with sprite after that) so i don't think that was it. I think it was the dancing. I did 'fine' and looked just as stupid as all the other guys out there. Although black guys seem to actually know how to dance. I realize it's just a stereotype, but it does seem to be true more often than not. I like the Q place, the music is loud, but not so loud as to make talking impossible nor hurt my ears. The music was a little slow so I suggested we got to the Lime Light to dance. Yea, me, I said that. Very scary I know. They wanted $15/person for a cover so we bailed since it was already late. Now I'm here about ready to crash.

The good news out of all this is that I've learned that I do have the tools to succeed. All I needed was some friends to go along and let me be relaxed and watch out for me in case I do something weird.

Minda is supposed to call me tomorrow and I just realized that I won't be here. OK, I didn't just realize it, I've known about it for a few days, I think I'm just now putting 2 and 2 together to make 5. She's going to call and I'm going to be out of cell range at the cabin. I'm sure it will work out. She's moving back to LA in the next few months and will stop by and visit when it's going on. Should be interesting, she's always got some scheme cooking. If only I had known she would turn out to be such a fluffy bunny while we were sitting in Physics together.... well nothing I guess. She was a hippie back then, no reason for that to change.

Back from the morning ride with Rod. I'm really close to being out of break in now, only 40 miles to go. I opened it up a little bit today just to see how things run... it runs just fine! On the way up I got a little too spirited and left Rod behind, I guess some of the track stuff hadn't left me yet. My ear is still bothering me a lot and I don't think it's the ear plugs. I wore the same soft ones I did yesterday and they hurt today. It's either the helmet or the riding position straining my neck. Man, it sucks though, I want to cry after a few hours, it really ruins the end of the ride. I also hit 105 today on Hwy 237. Rod was way ahead and I wanted to catch up. 65 to 105 looks like hitting the turbo boost on KITT, the numbers just fly up on the LCD.

This is really sad, I'm sitting here typing and...... watching golf. I don't know how it happened but it did. It's kinda fun actually watching good players. Nice course too.

I went last night and signed up at Hollywood Video and rented Blow which was kinda cool. Seemed a little long, but I was tired so who knows. People had coupons for 99 cent rentals, I had to pay $4.10.

The truck got a much needed bath and a coat of wax. The paint is completely shot, the clear coat is gone, it's really sad. Poor truck. I've also managed to finish vacuuming the house, only been working on that for three weeks. The BMW is back to street trim (mirrors on, head and tail light untaped, tires re-pressured, etc) and ready for tomorrow. I'm going to ride up to the cabin tomorrow for my grandmother's birthday then back home again early Monday morning.

Apparently Krista downloaded all of my journal and turned it into a word document. 200+ pages in a 10 point font without the images. That's an impressive amount of crap I've written down.

My workout this morning was surprisingly good considering the circumstances. I'm still really tired from yesterday and Phil's woman is back in town which meant he stayed up late having sex (and she gave him a manicure). For the last two weeks he's been talking about "dumping the gold digging bitch" but now things are all better between them. Talk about volatile.

I had a sudden flash of insight this morning while walking into the office. Women are not necessarily attracted to stupid guys, they're attracted to confident guys. The standard meat heads are confident in themselves (I theorize mostly because they don't know how much they don't know) and that's all that matters. This is probably one of my biggest areas for improvement, I need to see what I do as a complete success and be proud of it and not think "it could be better" and not be proud. Observe. Yesterday instead of thinking that I did my best and used every bit of capacity the BMW had, I started to think that if I just had street tires I could have done better. If I had taken the R1 I could have cornered faster and passed more people on the back straight. If I was smother in my transitions from 3rd to 2nd while breaking I could have carried more speed deeper into turn 2, etc etc. You get the idea. A success was turned into "needs improvement". I know that there is way more out there, in effect I know how much I don't know. I also think that I keep my successes in check and remain humble (if possible). No reason to go shouting out "look at me! look at me!", I know what I can do and what I can't do and no one else really needs to. That's probably a mistake.

What a total waste, I could have taken today off and no one would have noticed. OK, maybe I had one 4pm meeting but that's it. Hardly worth it. I should really just go home now.

I was browsing through the on-line personals again, just to see what was up. Makes me get all light headed, dizzy and want to puke. I so don't fit in with any of the requirements that are necessary; I would really have to make some radical shifts in my personality and behavior. Harsh lessons.

I made it back from Laguna Seca intact and with a lot more knowledge on how the BMW really handles. I took that thing to the edge, used all the power it had and all of the tire. As you can see from the following photos, I managed to drag a peg once (I stopped trying after it happened, it scared me, you should not be able to do that on a dirt bike) and melt off a good deal of the rear tire, even with the correct pressure. I was asking a lot of the little bike and it did well. Most people had real sport bikes, but you can see in the background of one of the pictures there were two full-sized BMW touring bikes out there. They rode them to the track and everything, no trailers for them (unlike me). I actually passed some people today too, that had to be embarrassing for them.

There was a real photographer at the track today who said he shot about 1000 images (all digital with a Nikon SLR N1). I saw a few of myself at lunch, he was reviewing them on a laptop and showing people (some sort of mac notebook, looked like it was made of metal instead of plastic). He said they'll be ready and on his web site in a few days... I'm going to get some of them as prints and frame them up for the wall-o-vehicles. I'll put some of them on here too if I can get the digital versions (other than the thumbnails on his preview page).

Vareck has the PDF version of this, but I'm going to just put up the text for faster loading. It's all the old email from OSU (or at least a chunk off of one system). He sure keeps stuff around! I'm sure there is the email on his NeXT that still needs to be rediscovered. Here is the text file. We sure talked about a lot of nothing back then.

I set Krista up with a password to read the journal entries. It's different from the main login and doesn't link her to anyone else's sites nor to the raw camera dumps, just the stuff in the journal directory down. I'm not sure why I did it. Well, yes I am. It's about time I fessed up to my past. It's OK for her to know that I loved other women in the past and those relationships went south too. I'm sure there is a lot of weakness exposed (as well as some mental problems no doubt) in the 3 years worth of crap, but it's not like it matters anymore. She can use it to get a laugh from her co-workers or something.

I wish I had time to write more since so much happened this afternoon, but I don't have time. I need to get to sleep so I can get up at 4:30am and get ready to go down to Laguna Seca for the motorcycle event. Ugh, that's only 6 hours of sleep by the time I get to bed, and I only got 6 hours last night since I was up at 5:45am today to go play golf with the guys at Shoreline. Hopefully I'll remember tomorrow to put down all the HDS/EMC stuff. That and I hope to remember to refill my shampoo bottle in my gym bag.

Made it home this morning at 2am. Just like the old days, I feel so good for actually having done something for a change.

Got the golf pictures back from the IAS tournament. It's a poor photo and a poor scan (I tried to color correct a little) but this photo does show me looking like a real golfer!

I went to netapp again today... man what a high pressure deal. They keep wanting me to talk to engineering about future products, what we want, etc. It's all just a gimmick from the sales guys I'm learning. It is interesting to have 10-12 people in a room questioning me.

Anita (my hair dresser) wanted to set me up on a blind date, so I had to stop by her salon and pick up the number. No, I don't know what I'm doing.

I also got a thank you basket of crap for Page. The women in the office said you can't go wrong with chocolate so I got this chocolate basket thing. It has truffles in it, yum. So I don't get any of them, but I can think yum. Spendy though.

I'm watching king of the hill, I really relate with Dale.

I'm still up, working on this dead 6800. With the fancy system controller they put on there I can do everything up to and including cycling the power remotely. And with dual system controllers (you can reboot one SC from the other) and a remote serial console there is a pretty good chance I can recover from doing something dumb. Pretty amazing. I wonder if they key actually changes position when you do a "setkeyposition off" command?

Damn, one of the vineyards I held stock in sent me a "wine dividend" notice. For every share you get 50 cents toward the purchase of wine (at way discounted prices). I had enough shares to get 4-5 cases of wine.... too bad I sold all the stock a few weeks ago. Oops. Dad would have loved all the wine.

So I didn't stay home, I called Rod and he and his wife and I went out playing pool and drinking at the Q Cafe. I tested the theory that I would feel good if I drank in a social happy atmosphere by drinking a few screwdrivers (nothing like the ones Eric makes). Net result was that my pool playing went to shit and I lost the ability to focus my eyes. Now I'm stuck at work waiting to sober up. I'm there mostly already, I think I'm just tired more than anything. At least it wasn't like the old days when Eric and I would play pool and I would get all depressed. I'm not depressed really at all, although I should be. Why is that exactly? Not sure. Not sure at all.

OK, no wait maybe I do know why I'm not depressed. Really, there is no reason to be. Yea, I'm alone, yea Krista left me and is off at naked people parties screwing (or more correctly, being screwed by) lots of guys, blah, blah, blah. How does that effect me? Not much. My happiness is not controlled by her behavior. Sure, I'm jealous of what she can do, but just because she's out having a great time does not mean that I can't have my own good time. They're not mutually exclusive. Rod's wife (who is pretty cool, and who's name I've forgotten) asked me what I like to do. That's a tough question, what exactly DO I like to do? First I need to develop my own interests and make myself happy, then I can work on finding someone to share it with. Ha, how's that for hack middle of the night drunken philosophy???

I went and got some of that fancy laser jet paper (there are 10,000 types of ink jet paper but only one type of good laser jet paper) and printed out my pictures. They suck, our spiffy color laser can't keep up with Ed's little ink jet. At least I tried. I'll have him print out a few images for me so I can frame them up.

Krista called. We talked for a bit. She's met three guys so far. We talked about attitude (both hers and mine). I went off basically saying it's easier for her to have the "can do" sorta attitude because guys are falling in her lap. She said that she's not been ready for a relationship so she turns them down. Conversely, I typically take any shot I can get with a woman, ready for a relationship or not. I don't get the 3-4 offers/week that she does, I can't be that picky. Well I can be that picky, it would just mean that I'm alone forever. Then it basically turned into a bash session and we cut it off.

The short form of the whole thing is that I still don't like myself. When I was a little kid I hated myself and my parents took me to a shrink to try to fix things. Either I was fixed and broke again or never really was fixed in the first place. When I went to the shrink last year, he basically said "get over it". That's a shit answer for me, I was expecting a little more than that. Esh, I'm screwed up inside. Gotta fix that.

Get over it man, she's gone!!! I called Krista yesterday and invited her to go today (via car, not on her bike) and she called this morning at 8am to say she had plans but maybe we could get together tonight. I called when I got back and she was with her friends at some sports bar watching a basketball game. Tomorrow she runs the "Bay to Breakers" marathon across the golden gate bridge (I think). More interesting was last night. She went to a party with her neighbors, the theme was "clothes swapping". She said she's not seen so many naked people in one place before. She didn't get naked but did swap shirts with people about 20 times. Guess things like that happen to cute single chicks who live in SF.

Today Rod and I went for a 160 mile bike ride... my wrists and back were OK but my right ear is killing me again. Either the helmet or the ear plugs (I'm thinking the helmet since this doesn't happen with the same plugs in a different helmet) really makes my ear HURT. It's fine for 20 minutes at a time, but after that it gets to me. By the time I got home I could hardly walk it hurt so bad. Very strange. We took pictures at the same place Vareck and I did three years ago. I think the picture I took of Rod is better than the one he took of me, but hey, I'm the photographer. :) I did a little crop magic on his photo to make it look more in-frame.

Our route took us up Hwy 9 to four corners, then north on 35 to Alice's for a snack and to pose for a while, then down 84 past La Honda to the sea, then south on 1 into Santa Cruz, then back east on Hwy 9 to Boulder Creek (with a lunch stop at the brew pub) and continuing on back down to Saratoga, then north on 85, east on 237, north on 880 and home.

Up at Alice's there was this 65+ year old guy on a new R1, same colors as ours. He crashed (low side on the right side) a few weeks ago and was trying to buy the stock pipe off of Rod. I wanted to take pictures of the bike with the body panels missing but thought it would be rude. Why would a old guy want and R1? Never seen it before.

So now I have nothing to do tonight since Krista canceled out... what now? Guess I could go to work, or pay bills, do laundry and vacuum. That sucks.

Slow day at the office today, which was a nice change. Went to lunch with Sun service, setup a meeting for early Monday.

What else... Oh yea, one of my contractors is leaving. He's quitting from Taos, so he can't work for us anymore. That sorta sucks, but he's going to a better job. Apparently Taos cut his pay twice and is now making him pay for his own insurance. I can see why he would want to leave.

I took the BMW to the dealer today to get new tires on it for the track day and they said that I don't need them, that my current tires are fine. The CLASS web site says the tires need to be at 95%... I took the dealer's advice and am not getting new tires. I'll probably take the R1 as a backup bike, even though I can't ride it fast it will at least be better than no bike at all if they won't let me run the BMW for some reason. The tires LOOK new anyway.

I went for a ride on our engineering VP's new Harley V-Rod. Normally I'm totally anti-Harley but this one didn't suck. It wasn't noisy, it wasn't tacky, it didn't vibrate like a washing machine with a phone book in it, nothing. It was scary as hell to try to turn feeling like you're sitting in a recliner that's tipping over, but the bike isn't about turning. It's about cruising along at 35 mph being seen. It does that very well.

I'm watching this documentary on the porn industry. AT&T is one of the biggest porn distributes, with GM being second (they own direct TV). Apparently 20% of the subscribers who have direct TV order porn every month. Now they're talking about porn on the net and what a huge market it is. Sex really does make the world go around.

Leianne and I went shopping again tonight and I picked up a few more shirts (5 I think) and another pair of pants. Nordstrom's is a little rich for my blood still, I freak out at $125+ for a shirt.

Guess who has tickets to use the HDS luxury suite at the SJ Arena for the Britney Spears concert???? ME! Yes, and I've got even our VP fighting over the extra tickets. I'm just too cool.

Last night I went to dinner with Michael Quan, one of our old Netapp SEs and a pseudo-friend of mine. We talked for a while about work, dating, life, etc. It was interesting to have a kindred spirit to chat with. Well, semi-kindred anyway. He's having good luck meeting women, but he doesn't seem to have what it takes to have a girlfriend of any type. He gets annoyed when women are around more than just the duration of a date and/or some sex. Having one around for the whole weekend was killing him.

I just got back from the city, I did end up making it up to see Paul's band play. They're rookies, but it was still a good time. When I got there right before 8pm the place was dead. At 9pm when they finished up (they're just opening for another band) the place was packed with people. I hadn't really noticed how the place was filling in because I was busy watching the show. Paul really wants to be a sound man, you can tell. He spends more time dicking with the sound board than actually playing. He also sang, I didn't know he could do that.

I'm kicking around the idea that I'll try drinking while on my vacation, just to see if it does anything. Eric said (a long time ago) that alcohol just enhances the mood you're in. If you're happy, you're more happy. If you're sad, you get sadder. Since I'm hoping to be relaxed, will I get more relaxed? Kenny theorizes that perhaps it will make me more relaxed. Leianne says that it might make me more social and able to talk to people. Interesting.

I put the packing blanket on the floor as well as some pillows next to the R1 in the garage last night. If an aftershock were to hit I would want it to fall onto something soft. It would still break the turn signals off but shouldn't scratch up the fairing as much as hitting the bare concrete.

People laughed at my pile of pillows trick to protect the bike. It is sorta silly, but I was scared.

I finally did it. After all the false starts, after all the crazy ideas, I finally booked myself a trip for my vacation next month. As Kenny points out I always get the travel idea once I've broken up with a woman and it's true. Like I told him, it's just me trying to escape. This time I've made it, or I've made it as far as plunking down the cash. Kenny has done Club Med before and liked it and my boss has and says that the resort in Cancun is really nice so I went ahead and did that. June 18-23rd I'll be gone, flying out of SFO to CUN with a stop over in MEX. Time to bust out the Spanish for stupid American tourists! :)

I'm paying a little extra to stay in a room by myself. Normally they pair people up so you have an 'instant buddy' (your roommate) but the more I thought about that, the more I didn't want to deal with some moron screwing up my vacation by being himself and invading my space. I couldn't get an ocean view room though, so hopefully the beach has some nice shady spots on it somewhere that I can sit and read (I'll be done with all of my Greyhawk books by then so I'll have to dig up something else to take). I also didn't go to Kenny's favorite spot because it lacks golf and a weight room. Yea, I'm still going to work out and I do want to play golf. I'll bring my glove and some golf balls but rent the rest of the gear, no sense in taking my crappy clubs all the way there when I can just rent some crappy clubs when I get there. I'll miss my putter and rocking sand wedge, but hey, I'm roughing it in a 3rd world country.

Ed went out to Cozumel (where the cruise ship stopped the last time I was there) and rented a scooter and zoomed around. That sounds like fun, I'll have to put it on my list. I'm also thinking of trying the deep sea fishing. I haven't ever tried it and it could be fun. At least I have to get a picture of myself with a big fish, that just seems to touristy. They offer sailing lessons at the club (I think they're part of the price) so I'll have to try that too.

Damn that scared me, this whole place moves around a lot and the access door to the attic was flapping like crazy. It was a 5.2 according to the USGS web site which someone has already hit and forwarded off to everyone at work. I always wondered what would happen if there was a quake, would it knock my bikes over? That would suck!

I think I mentioned that I put new lights on the Montero, here are some shots of the lights and the remote control box and relay. Not pretty wiring by any stretch, but it will work.

Per Vareck's request, here are the two pictures I took of those two while they were here.

Didn't go for hot chocolate, but I did go to the store to get some bagels and pasta stuff. There is really a shortage of food in the house.

Krista called at 8am and wanted to know how to get to Hwy 9, she thought she might go try to ride. Ha. I met Rod at 9am and we rode for a while and I caught sight of Krista driving the other way on Hwy 9. We were headed back to the gas station to meet up with the guys from work. They brought friends, there were a total of like 10 bikes. I road at the front of the pack for a while and again saw Krista going the other way. She waved. I suddenly got depressed. At four corners I pulled over and let the pack go... and I turned around and rode home. I'm still feeling pretty shitty about the whole thing. I feel very lost and alone and I don't know what to do. Her continual taunting is really strange. Why follow me and mess with my ride? Am I doing this sort of stuff to K5? Maybe I was. Now, I wasn't this screwy.

Going over to the parents for dinner tonight, I probably need to get mom a card. I failed to do so last night. I hate these fake Hallmark holidays.

Putty scp and telnet work better together than the secureCRT stuff. I can update this page and upload images at the same time, the interactive shells seems to get priority over the scp. Cool.

Vareck came by yesterday on his way to SAN and I got to meet Roser. She seems nice enough and it's good to see Vareck's faith in women restored. We went to Castro street in Mountain View, walked around and had Pho at one of the noodle houses there. We also stopped by work and I gave Vareck one of the SPARC 20s that I had to get rid of. Not sure what he's going to do with it, but he really wanted it. Around 1am they took off and drove the rest of the night. She has to go home on Thursday and they don't want to miss out on SAN.

This morning I got up and went for a ride on the R1 just to work the tires in a little. It was pretty damn scary, the rear end tried to get out from under me a at least three times. It seemed to settle down after a while, I hope all that crap is off the tires now. The hot dog stand wasn't open when I was ready to eat and I remember that Cal BMW was having an open house so I stopped by there and had some of the free food and looked at bikes. I could have signed up for a test ride (they had a dozen BMWs and Triumphs to test) but I wanted to get home and wash the Montero. I got it washed and mom called, she needed to use the Montero to move a chair from some store in Plesanton. I took care of that and then went home to finally wax the Montero. Krista called to talk for a bit, she's trying to figure out what she wants in a relationship, but wants to let me know that I'm not it. OK, I think we've established that already.

Now I'm just hanging out at home catching up on reading and fiddling. I'll probably go for hot chocolate here at some point, I feel like getting out a little. Or I should say I do now, the feeling may pass before too long.

Got up today at 5:41am to make it to the golf course in time to play 9 holes with the work crowd... I was the first one there so I got to warm up. Ed's game was on today and he took low score, especially after his chip-shot for birdie. I was hit-and-miss, on in one, bunch of putts. Story of my life.

I'm currently going through tons of resumes looking for the senior guy and I've figured out why I don't like doing it. First it reminds me that my resume is 3.5 years out of date. Second is reminds me that my jobs skills are now 1+ years out of date... and I doubt I was that good when I started. I don't really remember crap about how to setup DNS, or all that much about modern routing, etc, etc. The scary part is I don't even remember how to learn that crap anymore, nor sure I have the heart to put into it. I had best not loose this job I have now. I think I'll update my resume just in case.

I rode the new bike in today just so I could ride to Jamba Juice at lunch with the cool kids. It's scary riding this thing in traffic, with that head-down riding position it's hard to look too far ahead on the road or keep tabs on what's going on around/behind you. It really cries out for a racetrack.

Leianne and I were going to go for round #2 of the shopping trip but she canceled at the last minute. I swear she's the flakiest woman I know.

I'm really starting to warm up to the R1, it's fun. And it just looks cool too, we rode to lunch today and parked up on the sidewalk (next to two police BMWs). I talked to the cops and they think parking on that sidewalk section is what was meant to be done since it has these poles with "ears" on them that you could chain the bikes too. Interesting. Anyway, it looked ultra cool just sitting there all black and evil. It was really sunny and a palm tree was casting a single circular shadow which fell right on my bike. All the other bikes were all colorful and bright in the sun but mine was in it's own little dark patch. Heh, heh, cool.

So just for grins I put an ad up on yahoo! personals (yes, again). It looks like there is an interesting crop of women out there now and Michael is having pretty good luck. Must be springtime. I've got to take advantage of that.

The other news is that Vareck called today, he and Roser are on their way down to SAN and are stopping by SFO for a few days to visit. Excellent. I don't know if they'll stay here at the cardboard Hilton since I don't have a guest bedroom setup. (here is where Kenny gives me shit because he has a guest room). I like having no furniture dammit! (and that room is really too small for a bed, it's only 9'8" x 9'8").

I need to get my ass to bed now, I've got a 7am tee time with three guys from work tomorrow. Don't want to be late! Figure I get up at 5:45, leave by 6:15 or so... ugh! I wish I had something to eat for breakfast other than protein bars; low blood sugar really effects my play.

Hey, I just got given an incentive stock grant (and some to give to my guys as well). Too bad they're already under water.

Took the R1 out for a little shake down run tonight. I stopped by the coffee shop and found two ZX-9s parked outside. I put the evil death machine next to them and got some hot chocolate. My bike looked cooler then theirs. :)

What a long day. Starting out yesterday... Krista stayed over and I left her around 8am because I had to go in to supervise the HDS testing. I made it home around 11am and she was still there (she went back to sleep when I left) and it was clear she wasn't interesting in going home just yet. She suggested we take another ride on the bike and did, up to skyline/hwy 9 to get hot dogs and check out all the bikes. I felt pretty good about my riding ability, even riding two-up we managed to zip right along and get some good lean angles going. I managed to get the tires all the way over to the edge on the GS a few times even. After lunch we rode around some more and headed up 236 toward big basin. I pulled off onto a dirt road (GS is good for something) and we snuck off into the woods for some quality naked time. At some point her cell phone got bumped and dialed someone, I heard a womans voice coming out of her jacket and I'm pretty sure whoever it was that the phone chose to call got a full audio show of Krista's orgasm. Pretty funny. After that we rode back to my place; I had to clean up for the concert.

Around 5pm Leianne picked me up and we went down town for dinner at some Italian place (the food was only OK, nothing worth the price that's for sure) and got to see the 'floor show'. Since it was drunken Mexican day downtown the streets were packed with morons and cops. A batch of morons started a fight outside the big glass wall of the restaurant and the cops had to come and tie wrap up the whole lot of them and haul them off.

The crowd at the concert was really weird... lots of freaky looking people too. Not obvious SFO style freaky, just not quite right looking. Anyway, the opening band sucked (I had to ask Leianne if they were really that bad or was it just me... nope, it was them, they were bad) but Alanis rocked. More visual effects than I expected (mostly just lighting, no explosions or anything). The crowd (and myself) really liked her old stuff and not as much of her new stuff.

Today I picked up the death cycle and brought it home. I can't go over 5000 RPM during break-in, but it's still scary fast. And smooth. I think I'm going to like it. Here it is in the showroom and here it is in my garage.

After I got home mom picked me up to take me to a paper making class (me being there was her mother's day present). I made a few sheets; it was actually more fun that I thought it would be. Lots of skill and little tricks to make it turn out well and since I didn't know them mine looks pretty whack. I'll try to turn it into something useful but it's going to take some thought, and clever framing work.

The HDS people tried to take us to a sharks playoff game tonight. I told them if they really want to score with us, let us use their luxury box at the Arena for the Britney Speers concert. How funny would that be?

Hey look, it's drunken Mexican riot day.

Yesterday was a big day. Dad I went to play 18 and ended up playing 17. We showed up hoping to do a walk on and the only people we could join was a group that had just finished the first hole. We grabbed a cart and took off after them and joined them on 2. No warm up, no practice, no stretching, no nothing. It's hard playing fast-deploy golf.

After golf I hooked back up with Rod at the Yamaha dealer and ended up picking up one of these:

I won't get to pick it up until Monday, it was too late for them to prep it for me to take home that day. Rod also bought one and his will be there Monday and ready in the afternoon. Zoom.

While I was doing the paperwork, Krista called. She wanted to know what I was up to, etc, and after I told her she got all excited and wanted a ride on the new bike. I told her it won't be ready until next week and offered to take her for a ride on the BMW. She accepted and we took a sunset ride up into the hills east of town (roads I had never been on). Then we went to dinner, then we went back to my place and had sex. Woohoo. No rekindle on the relationship or anything, but she was lonely (and horny apparently) and I'm not going to turn that down. :) She will probably freak out now and run away, but that's to be expected.

I'm sure no one cares about the laptop at this point, but I should note that I'm on it again playing CDs (the speakers are great) and typing this. I've got the VPN client installed and should get PCanywhere on here so I can hit my desktop PC and get some real work done. I've got some stuff leftover to finish up before Monday because I took a few hours off to go "shopping". More on that next paragraph. After work (and a few slices of Friday pizza) I went to the gym to test my shoulder. It's doing OK, the extra day of rest helped out (maybe only 12 hours of rest). There were actually 2-3 cute chicks there too which was a change. While doing my cardio warm-up there was female boxing on one of the TVs. It was really interesting to watch and I could appreciate it a lot because I've been in the ring myself now. They were pretty evenly matched featherweights, made for a good show.

So shopping. Around 3pm I was bored and suggested we go for Jamba Juice. Jimmy, Charles and Rod rode while Ed, Mike and myself drove in Mike's car (the only car that holds more than two since Ed brought his 911 today). Anyway, we went over to the motorcycle dealer after and Rod and I tried to buy R1s. Just like last time when Ed and I tried, they wouldn't deal at all really. They're selling for MSRP but they charge $1300 for the misc crap like DMV, setup and freight. That should cost around $400-500 so they're padding the profit into that instead of a real honest markup. We called around and they're all going for $12500 out the door. One dealer said that since there was such a price war the last time around they (the dealers) all got together and set a price they would sell for. Price fixing is illegal last time I checked. Oops, battery is low...

Hey, the little controls on the 'seam' of the laptop (edge of the monitor near the keyboard) actually work to control the CD player. Cool, I don't have to click on stuff. Man technology has moved forward.

Attempt one at having both the PC and the laptop on-line and talking. So far, it seems really slow. I thought 802.11b was 10mbit?

I smacked a car on my way in this morning on the bike. While lane splitting I tried to dodge an Accord and hit the mirror with my left hand guard. I didn't fall over or anything but it did scratch up the guard a little. I always wondered what would happen if I hit the guard on something.

Pixar came by today to tour or facility and talk about Linux farms. Apparently they're going away from the 300 14-way E4500s they're using now. Sun really loved them over the last few years, but I'm thinking that will probably change.

Doing an update from bed, using the laptop. What luxury! Anyway, I just got back from the range. Michael Quan (who was one of our Netapp SEs) went to the airport to pick up some chick he met on the net from Canada. She wanted to go to the range and shoot a real gun, something she's never done before being a Canadian and all. He wanted someone there for backup I guess so he invited me. She did pretty well, I did OK, he did, well, not as well as he should have. Probably nervous or something. You can tell I'm loosing some skill from lack of practice; lots of up and down strings 4-5" long. Bad, bad, bad. The point to all of this babble is that at the end when we were leaving I was so glad to be going home by myself and not having to take anyone with me. It's kinda nice being alone again. Scary to hear myself say that but it's true.

My right shoulder is hurting and I don't know why. I'll skip the gym in the AM and just rest it for an extra day and go to the range on Saturday. Sunday I want to go play golf again if my shoulder is doing OK. I wonder why it's hurting me? Maybe I pushed it a little at the gym on Monday/Wednesday? Dunno.

Holy crap on a stick, it's another month gone by! I can tell because I have to update my .cshrc aliases to point to another month's journal entries and whack the main index to my page. Time is flying here, I'm getting scared life will be over before I get things done.

After much cursing and swearing I got this stupid win2k laptop working. It really is a lot more administration to make it just work like win9x did, so far it's not very impressive in my book. I also got the Cisco wireless card working. It seems pretty stable and gets good reception but it was a pain to get working. The documentation is far from complete and the drivers and utilities look like something I would write if I tried to use visual basic a few years back. Anyway, it's all working now and I got putty for SSH so I won't have to worry about secure-CRT. I now have two systems at home on the wireless network. Once I get all my stuff on the laptop it will be hard to trudge back upstairs to use the desktop. Especially when the laptop has faster video, a 2x faster CPU and more disk space. It's also got a DVD drive with a re-writable CD burner, firewire, USB, sound and some other crap. Too bad all my porn is on the system upstairs. :)

Holy crap. The sound on this thing works, I'm listening to partytown radio right now... and it's wireless. I can take this thing into the garage and listen to music when I'm out there. So audio now flies across the world from who knows where, goes via wireless Ethernet to a laptop to turn back into sound. Funny, we had radios a long time ago, I've just managed to re-invent the wheel here.